Ok, something crazy happened yesterday that was completely unexpected, but knowing the person it came from, it’s not that surprising at the same time.
My National held a workshop a half hour away,and she asked ME to look something up on our area Facebook page since I’m always on, and to text my Sales Director to add something to a different page. Even though I’m gradually growing instead of shooting for the top, she knows who I am. Maybe it’s due to my medical stuff and still working toward goals, but it was still amazing. And it was great to have people know me for me instead of who my grandparents or parents were/are or what they did. I walked in to check in, and I got a “ we got you, Beth!”
Crazily enough my first real event was the workshop in the same place four years ago. I couldn’t stay for the guest event, but I still got a picture with her. Now, four years later, level ten confidence and holding a few minute conversation with her.
“ You stole our mascot; we want it back.” to the tune of “The other day, I saw a Bear.” 14 years does make a difference, especially when “ coming home” was off the last time we tried…. school and church wise, and service wise is more important than who had the mustang name and colors first, even though my original grade school combined with another athletics wise and changed the name and colors. Still can’t get used to that.
2/3 of us needed a change of scenery with something that was easy to follow and somewhere we could blend in instead of being bombarded about things we should have never really been involved with in the first place, but I digress. I knew one place was more traditional and straight forward, plus a lot of people who knew me for me instead of so-and-so’s (grand)daughter, little sister, etc. We really only bumped into one of my former high school religion teachers who happened to be leading Bible hour. The people I hoped to see must be 10:30, Saturday or Monday people.
And someone who made us feel welcome thought I was still in high school since I “looked so young.” Glad to know my skincare and the legacy I’m upholding works.
“Wow, four years, but it seems like a life time ago. So grateful that a friend tied me to her dream when I needed it the most; for supportive women who have my back and see the small wins as victories and are willing to make things happen like carpooling to events; for an amazing National who didn’t listen to a friend and for one woman who dared to dream big enough so we could continue her legacy 55 years later, especially through the adopted program. 😉 Thank you to my teammates and customers for this amazing journey. I remember messaging with another friend that I needed to do something crazy, but what’s crazy to some is something beautiful I can’t live without.”
Finally grateful for the “no’s” and am able to let them roll of my back. If someone wouldn’t have said no to me about hiring me to the only summer job I ever wanted a few years prior, I wouldn’ve had the opportunity to volunteer under my recruiter, and we would’ve been as close as we are. Tell that to the devastated 18-19 year old me who refused to speak to the program director when he came up to my college that next year. Water under the bridge now, and I can definitely see my Aspiness in hindsight. And grateful for how much I’ve grown over the past four years. I remember feeling the smile form after I signed my agreement and waiting for the UPS driver to get here and drop off my starter kit. I remember the emotional rollercoaster from the year prior, and while it occasionally makes an appearance, it’s affect is far less than it was.
For some of us, there is a perfect time, and we need to find the opportunity to take it and to go ahead despite the naysayers. If one of my mentors had listened to a friend, none of us would be where we are today, and I wouldn’t have the amazing adopted Sales Director’s that I see every week.
I just hit a major accomplishment, and my actual sales director posted it on our unit Facebook page, about consistency and picking myself back up. I’ve been a fighter for the past 22 years, and although it can be very tiring, especially proving others wrong, it’s also rewarding. I’m looking forward to writing the next chapter.
Excited and a bit scatterbrained and praying it goes well. Working to set up a phone interview. Got the voicemail yesterday and ended up leaving one in response. I will call them back on my next day off this week.
On Sunday I messaged a friend I’ve known for almost all my life and asked her if there was anything in her area of the state I’d be good at. She directed me to the company, and I found it on the website: great hours, plays to my strengths, and it would get me out of the area I’m currently in. Did the research tonight and typed out what impressed me and my questions for my interviewer. And the fact they called me two days after I submitted…..
I’m still trying to get it through Dad’s brain I cannot stay in our current area for the rest of my life. And I cannot rely on them for transportation forever, nor is it healthy to stay that attached. And I will live on eggs and soup if I need to for a while. I practically take home the same food every day from my current job, and I have a support system in the area, plus my ( step) great-Aunt on Mom’s side of the family.
Easter as an adult is more of Jesus was an early riser for me when I can’t function before/ during a sunrise service. And I honestly miss the more traditional hymns and service structure. And anything but the choral version of a hymn is wrong, so I couldn’t sing one of the verses because it was wrong.I’m a song purist; I can’t help it. And the way they turned the lights on in the sanctuary was really distracting. Couldn’t really sleep last night, and kept having to go outside and even took a trip to the docks to get away from noise, especially from my dad’s voice when my sister and brother-in-law were over. Sleep deprived Aspy is not a good thing. And my sister gets it. She even said I needed space.
Praying next Easter’s more traditional and quieter visiting wise.
On a brighter note, the Conference in Madison last weekend was amazing. And I had the courage to ask a friend I know truly needs the opportunity to watch our National’s updated video, and have a feeling she is my next teammate. And having our National “ home” was incredible.
Today was another attempt at doing things on my own terms. I made a mistake attempting to post about it in a group I thought would help when it turned into an Aspy meltdown. I’m grateful someone saw the pending post and deleted it.My thoughts at the time were, “hey, I just need to share this with a group who might understand, especially about breaking free and forming some sort of connection that might help me get into the area I need to,” but all I did after was feel stupid and tried to get on to delete only to find a level headed admin/ moderator did it for me. Relieved, but not proud of myself. Just like something else that was misconstrued five years ago on a status I made after failing student teaching. My intent was “I’m tired of people doing things for no apparent reason and should just stop trying to find people to sit with at lunch”, but someone thought I wanted to end my life.
Why can’t people understand the harder they push you toward something, the harder you’ll attempt to escape? And why can’t they listen to why you are avoiding a certain area because you need a clean break and fresh start? It honestly feels like it did before college ( the first time around) with a little flavor of having to move back post graduation. Do I want to get the heck out of here? YES, but I need to go where I can expand my horizons instead of being in the same area all my life. If anything, these last few years have taught me what not to do with my future hypothetical kids if they are ever in the same situation.
I meant to write this yesterday, but after picking up a shift for a few more hours, my hands were too chapped even to actually journal, mostly because I needed to get out of the house with someone being home and feeling trapped.
Here’s to the boss babes who work to the very last second to accomplish goals, to the badass warrior princesses fighting for their lives battling medical issues and diseases they didn’t expect, to the gals who found courage to leave an abusive situation and got the help they needed, to my fellow rock star Aspergirls finding our niche in the world, to the WO-men who keep us safe in our communities and overseas to fight so we can have the opportunities to fight for ourselves; to few women who did so we could follow their footsteps and unlock our God-given potential to create a life we want to live instead of building someone else’s dream.
To my mentors who never give up on me no matter where I’m at. I do not know what I would do without being around them one night a week, or at least hearing from one of them since she lives a little farther away. The extra round of hugs, the positive environment, learning new techniques to grow personally and in business. It’s a breath of fresh air and freedom, and it’s the only thing keeping me grounded with everything that’s been going on lately. And watching one recruiting video over again always puts a smile on my face, and any live streamed video from that mentor or training at a conference to her liking or responding to my Facebook statuses instantly relieves any stress and brightens m day. I am more focused on treating it as a business than I have in the past, and besides supporting myself financially, one of my goals is to mentor women in similar situations, to build a unit of survivors and to show we can find ways to overcome obstacles. Hey, you get to bond with others you might not have in the car when you’re a permanent passenger, and you can bring parties to you own home (yet to happen) to accomplish goals. Perk for them, they don’t have to clean their house!And the fact we’re providing hope to women across the globe is no small feat.
Maybe the reason I love watching the first six seasons of Once Upon a Time is for the positive kickass female role models, especially Snow and Emma, not that I have an evil step-mother or a crazy family tree that any database couldn’t figure out, but their fearlessness, determination and fighting for what they believed in. A charming guy (yes, pun intended) who complements strengths and personalities is a bonus. I saw some of that in season 7, but it’s a lot stronger in the original story line.
We’ve go this, ladies! Go out there and show the world who is boss.